When I say the words, “perfect body”, what do you picture? Does a famous actor or actress come to mind? Maybe you’re envisioning the body of someone you know—an acquaintance, friend or family member? Or perhaps you’re imagining your own body, but in a different shape or size. In any case, we all have this idea of what a “perfect” body looks like. The problem with entertaining this idea is it leads to unhealthy behaviors, both physically and mentally. This is because the pursuit of perfection is an insatiable chase (more on this later).
The truth is, it’s not really our fault that we conceptualize an “ideal” body. In today’s world, it’s completely normal to objectify people—men, women, even ourselves! Why? Because we live in a diet-crazed and body-obsessed society. One that flashes pictures and videos of thin, yet curvy, tall women and then indirectly preaches, “Look like this and you’ll be happy, successful, accepted, etc…” We see it everywhere, not just weight loss commercials! This message has infiltrated TV shows, movies, music videos, magazines, social media, and of course billboards, advertisements, and posters.
The world, it seems, demands perfection. You have to be the perfect spouse, the perfect employee, the perfect parent. You have to always keep a cool head, never slip up, always do everything! Often, this perfectionistic thinking spills over into your physical world as well. Do you expect yourself to have “perfect” eating days? “Perfect” exercise days?
Well, it’s time to call their bluff. Because the truth is, it’s completely unrealistic to expect yourself to have a “perfect” day emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically! That’s simply not how life works! So why would you expect yourself to conform to a completely unrealistic body ideal too? It’s simply unfair.
In truth, there is NO SUCH THING as a perfect body! For one, we are human. We are imperfect—bodies and all! Two, we are all genetically unique. It’s honestly quite absurd to believe we should and could have the body of someone else when we’ve been given our own wonderful, unique body and our own wonderful, unique DNA. Third of all, your body does NOT define your worth! Let that sink in for a second. Your body does not define your worth or value as a human being. And it never will. You can be loved, confident, happy, successful, and accepted in your here-and-now body. Finally, the ever changing definition of a “perfect body” proves that the very idea that a perfect body exists is a lie! Let me explain. Society has been altering the definition of a “perfect body” since the beginning of time. Generations ago, persons in larger bodies were actually envied for their ability to properly nourish themselves. Later, Marilyn Monroe (nowhere close to today’s standard of a “perfect body”), was the epitome of sexiness. Now, we practically worship people who admittedly starve themselves! If there truly was a “perfect body” to strive for, it wouldn’t have changed so many times over the years, because truth does not change. Therefore, the idea that there is a “perfect body” must be a lie!
So, even though you’ve just read that a “perfect body” doesn’t actually exist, it can be difficult to get over the idea. It’s ok. Go easy on yourself. I’ve been there. What worked for me was simply changing my definition of “perfect”! Since the definition is always changing anyway, why not just redefine it for yourself? My definition of a “perfect body” used to be: “A tiny waist with large breasts, and a big butt—but not too big.” And I pursued that definition of “perfection” for a good, long time. After several wasted years, I finally realized that the pursuit was futile. So eventually, I simply changed my definition of “perfect body”. I now define a “perfect body” like this: “The body I feel good in because I take good care of it and send it positive thoughts.” I now enjoy living in a “perfect body” every day, because my definition doesn’t have anything to do with looks.
So how can you let go of this destructive pursuit? It starts with rejecting the toxic and untruthful messages in today’s world that you need a certain body shape or size. What you need is a new source of input! Think about all the things or people in your life that make you feel poorly about yourself and/or your body. Is it someone you follow on social media? Is it your personal trainer at the gym? Is it a family member who makes rude comments? Now think about when you feel poorly about yourself or your body. Is it when you’re scrolling social media? Is it when you compare yourself to your skinny sister-in-law or those perfectly poised actresses on TV?
Stop comparing yourself to them. Stop letting them get to you! If necessary, stop following them on social media. As you do so, you are rejecting the lies the world tells you that you are unacceptable because of your body. The next step is body acceptance, which is where you replace that toxic input with a mindset of positivity and self-respect. Believe it or not, you have the capability to love yourself, speak kindly to yourself, respect your body, and put a stop to the constant body bashing. You must start speaking up for yourself.
And this starts with your own thoughts. I know, it’s hard to change your thoughts. It’s probably the hardest thing we can do. But only you can change your mind. And believe me, you CAN change your mind! Make the choice today to stop expecting yourself to be perfect, and start having more self-compassion. Stop judging yourself for every tiny, little mistake or slip up. Stop hating every little part of your body you don’t like. Stop assuming that other people are going to view you differently if your cellulite is showing or you’ve got flabby arms. The right people, the ones you should surround yourself with, will not think one iota less of you for your appearance.
Open your heart to the idea of loving yourself and respecting yourself. Start seeing yourself as MORE than a body! What other awesome attributes do you possess (besides an exquisite body that miraculously keeps you alive every day)? Write some of them down. What are your true values? And what are you doing to live those values? If one of those is health, hear me: Your body size almost never seriously affects your health.
What?! I know, crazy town. But more and more research is finding that body size has very little to do with actual health! So what truly determines your health? Your relationships is the main one, but your stress levels and genetics also play a huge role. Then, a very small percentage falls to what you eat and how much you move/exercise.
So instead of obsessing over what you’re eating or how many calories you can burn on the treadmill, start prioritizing what actually makes you happy and healthy. Your social life: How are your relationships? Where could they use some work? What are you going to do to improve them? Eating: Could you start listening to your body more? Could you start respecting and honoring it more? Notice, I didn’t mention anything about “healthy eating”. This is because it’s absolutely crucial to establish a healthy mindset with food before we talk about nutrition. Movement: Could you move your body in more enjoyable and less painful ways? Could you do things that actually feel good instead of doing whatever burns the most calories? Stress: What is your current stress level? What can you do or change about your life to lower your stress? Ironically, stressing about your health is wreaking havoc on your health! This is where changing your mindset comes in.
Remember, the little voice that whispers, “You don’t measure up because you don’t have a certain body” IS A LIE! Reject this thought the moment it comes into your head and replace it with self-loving and self-affirming statements.
Here are some statements you can say to yourself when toxic diet/body messages sneak in:
I appreciate my body for how it is right now
I care about myself
I approve of myself
I am willing to change my mindset/thought process
I love myself more each day
I am unique. I feel good about being alive and being me
Amazing opportunities exist for me in every aspect of my life
I am ok as I am. I accept and love myself
I am confident
I am focused and persistent
I believe in myself
I let go of negative thoughts and feelings about myself
I love who I have become
I am always growing and developing
I deserve to be happy and successful
I have the power to change myself
I can make my own choices and decisions
I can choose happiness whenever I wish, no matter what my circumstances
It is enough to have done my best
I am worthy of having high self-esteem
I love and respect myself
Having respect for myself helps others to like and respect me
I am doing the best I can with the knowledge and experience I have obtained so far
It’s ok to make mistakes. They are opportunities to learn
I am going to focus on what really matters today
Read that last one again for me. Now ask yourself, what really, truly matters to you deep down? When I ask myself this question, I think of my family, my values, my religion, and yes, my health. Because without our health, it’s difficult to enjoy life!
My goal in life every single day is to focus on what really matters. I want to serve my family more, live my values and religion more, and take care of my body and mind. Taking care of your body and mind does NOT include pursuing a “perfect” body! You got that? Again, this pursuit wreaks physical and mental havoc. Instead, focus on what really matters to your health.
Here’s a final tip: Rejecting our diet-crazed and body-obsessed culture and accepting yourself and your body is much easier when you remember that pursuing a perfect body is an insatiable journey. Trust me when I say, you will NEVER be satisfied with your body if you keep listening to the world’s diet-driven messages. Did you know that even models often don’t like their bodies? Imagine that! This is because the weight-loss world will only ever make you feel broken, over and over and over again. No matter how thin or strong you are. It’s a marketing tactic, guys. You don’t need a new washer and dryer if yours are functioning just fine. You might want one, but you certainly don’t need one. Please believe me when I say: You don’t need fixing. And neither does your body. You don’t need a new one to reach your life goals, live your values or even be healthy. Your current body will do just marvelously.